The Little Things

Yesterday morning, the first call I got was from Mom.

"Hi. We are trying to do a load of laundry and we don't know where to put the soap. Can you come over and show us where it goes?" (In the background, I hear Dad say, "Yes, but she doesn't need to come do it right now!")

I was finishing up my own laundry, and as I was waiting for that and taking a shower, I realized how funny and sad this was. I mean, it's just the little things like that. For years and years, Mom meticulously handled the laundry for both of them, plus all of the linens and towels when there were many house guests, and now, she can't even remember how to add the laundry detergent.

On top of that, just the very thought of getting the laundry washed and dried and folded and put away takes a tremendous toll on her mind. She can not relax until it's all done. Meanwhile, her mind is so tired from thinking about it all, all she really wants to do is sleep to get away from the intruding, mixed up thoughts.

I went over and showed them again how to add the soap, and all was good again.

I went back over in the afternoon. It was raining. Mom was napping in the chair. She got up when I entered the house, and told me she had just tucked Dad in for a nap in the little day bed downstairs. He has not been sleeping well...

I made up a pot of tea, and she asked if I could read some more from the Edith Wharton book. I was happy to do that, but after about thirty minutes, she got restless again. The afternoon was getting on, the sky was dark, sundowners comes on. She wanted to check on Dad, to make sure "he was alright."

Okay, I agreed to take her downstairs, but shhh, let's not wake him.

We crept down the stairs and when we got to the bottom step, hand in hand, we both peeked around the corner, and there he was, sitting at his desk in front of his computer. When he saw us, he laughed out loud. We must have looked pretty funny, silently peeking our heads out from the steps.

He explained he was corresponding through Facebook with one of Mom's oldest girl friends, who had recently been ill. Mom wanted to get in on what was happening, but her patience in front of the computer is so very slight. She says, "I want to see, what does she say, does she know about me and my Alzheimers?"

Dad tried to read aloud the "conversation" back and forth between he and I and our old friend, but she couldn't stand there long enough.

Back upstairs we went. I stayed a little longer, and suggested maybe her friend would like a nice card from her. She agreed to that, but we didn't have the address and by this time, she was getting really antsy. Her right hand is stiff now, she really can't write anymore. I was going to help, but decided we would wait until the next day.

I left them in a fairly decent state. The sun is out today, and I am going over shortly so Dad can head out to a doctor's appointment an hour away. She still wants to go to the ladies dinner Friday night..

We will see, we will see.