Activity

A lot of activity for Mom this last week.

Last Wednesday, the long afternoon at the community center. Then on Saturday, Dad convinced Mom to go to an afternoon opera performance, live-streamed onto a giant HD screen from New York City (Verdi, I believe it was), over at the private academy in one of the nearby towns. Sunday, because Dad did not have to go early for choir rehearsal, she went with him to church! Then yesterday, late afternoon, they went down town to a little local hair salon and had their hairs cut. On the way back from their pampering, they stopped in at our house for about twenty minutes for a small glass of wine and to view our Christmas tree.

December 11, 2010

Dad is handling her with such sweet devotion, despite her bouts of paranoia and frustration. They only stayed for the first half of the very long opera presentation, but they both got worn from the long sitting, so it worked out well. When I called Mom from my afternoon gig on Sunday afternoon, she seemed happy that she attended the church service. And she hardly made much of a stink at all about going to the salon, though there was a part of her (the Alzheimer part, I think) that thought it not necessary. However, to see her come into our house last night with freshly washed and cut hair was lovely and affirming.

Yesterday, she asked me about Christmas, and slowly, I tried to explain the family plans. I brought the calendar over to her lap, and pointed out the days. We are still trying to decide between the siblings about exact times and meals.. perhaps we may host the gift giving and / or the Christmas dinner here at my place, in hopes of having less hustle and bustle over at their place... however, the scene is much nicer over there, so I don't know yet. So many little details to work out, yet the only thing that really matters is we make this as smooth and trouble free as possible for both of our parents.

I noticed Dad thoughtfully pre-cut all of Mom's chicken into little, bite sized portions for her mid day meal yesterday. That's one of the things they tell us to do. She is complaining about the use of her right hand... it's getting harder for her to grasp things (in all senses of the meaning!)

She had tried to call me yesterday but got confused on how to use the phone.

Last week, before going to the community center luncheon, she wanted to apply lipstick to her lips, but instead applied a fat tube of face cover up. I had to wipe it off with a damp tissue and reapply the lipstick. Dad mentioned that a few nights back she put a moisturizer on her toothbrush instead of toothpaste.

I feel the need to simplify the area around her bathroom sink a little bit more, with out upsetting her. I'm keeping an eye on it, try and find my opening, and move swiftly.

We've praised her braveness and savvy for heading out into the world so much these last few weeks. It's exhausting for her, and always, the concept of time is a mystery in her injured brain. Patience and encouragement, affirmation and acceptance all play into these moments with her. Finding the balance between having empathy for her condition, without patronizing her. Allowing her to have as much dignity as possible, all the while watching her out of the corner of your eye so she does not harm herself.

We are walking on a tightrope, two hundred feet in the air, with no net below.