Give Them What They Want

The last day of the old year and the first day of the new year have been very mild for this region, and Dad was able to gather Mom up for a little afternoon walk up to my place on both days. I missed their visit on New Year's Eve, as I was out to market, but I was told all about the positive little visit by my partner when I came home. Even though part of the message was that I wouldn't need to visit them, I couldn't resist going over anyway for a quick pop in, and to wish them a Happy New Year.

I found Mom with the new book we had started the day before. She was actually reading it, though I am not sure how much she was absorbing, at least she was taking a stab at it. When I asked her to fill me in on what had happened in the story since she took up reading it on her own, she basically reviewed to me the first two chapters which I had already read to her.. but, hey, at least she's trying.

Today's afternoon visit I was here for, and we had them come inside for a minute. Mom and Dad were in good spirits on this mild New Year's Day afternoon, and looking forward to their dinner date later at her sister's weekend farm house down the road. I grabbed my camera and walked them back home, taking a few photos along the way. Mom was quite verbal and they both passionately described the classical music program they had watched and listened to last night.

January 1, 2011

Earlier in the day, I had received an email from Dad with a link to an article published in the New York Times today. It suggests that the best treatment for AD patients is related to empathetic care giving as opposed to drugs (excluding drugs to relieve pain and discomfort.) To give the patient what they want, when they want, in a loving and attentive manner, is the best way to ease their discomfort and confusion. The success one particular nursing home was having was sited as exemplary in the movement towards this manner of approach with the care of AD patients. It's a beautiful thing, and well worth reading.

Reading this article only strengthens my and Dad's resolve to be as patient and giving with Mom's emotions and wants and needs as we can, in order to reduce her anxiety and confusion. I have seen with my own eyes the positive results this approach to care giving can have with my mother. As long as their are still no proven medical "cures"to this brain disease, the best thing to do is to focus on empathetic caregiving.

Seeing my mother "alive" in the eyes and still trying to do things like read, take walks, put away dishes or fold laundry brings me hope... or perhaps that word is too much wishful thinking.. however, it brings me a little peace of mind in this very moment to moment, day to day existence we are experiencing with her in her journey towards the inevitable darkness of Alzheimers Disease.